Joke

[Gunslinger]

I remember the old McDonald's candy stripers but not this scene!

[Buzzard]

What is with the DeLorean in a '50's picture?

[showbizkid]

That's the joke

[Buzzard]

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

[Gunslinger]

Seems logical.

[Buzzard]

Did this really happen?

[Buzzard]

A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game.

After answering all the questions, there is a tie.
So both are given one final assignment.
It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu".
It is a city in Africa.
The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:
"I was a father all my life,
I had no children, had no wife,
I read the bible through and through
on my way to Timbuktu ... "
The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory.
But then comes the shepherd, with his winning masterpiece:
"When Tim and I to Brisbane went
We met three women cheap to rent.
They were three and we were two,
So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "

[55s]

Passwords

---

I just saw this on an Oldsmobile site, from a Chevy website and pass it on.

WINDOWS:
Please enter your new password.

USER :
Cabbage

WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER:
Boiled cabbage

WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER:
1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces

USER:
50damnboiledcabbages

WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character

USER:
50DAMNboiledcabbages

WINDOWS:
Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively..

USER:
50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourBacksideIfYouDon't GiveMeAccessNow !

WINDOWS:
Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER:
ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourBac kSideIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS:
Sorry, that password is already in use.

[6hk71400]

What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck.

Bob Miles
Short Attention Span

[Noxnabaker]

Stuck? How about impossible?

[6hk71400]

That works for me

[Bob Andrews]

THE TESLA GENIE
David is driving his Rolls Royce, not paying attention, when he bumps into a Tesla.
He gets out of his Rolls and recognizes the Tesla driver as his old friend Mosche.
Mosche, how are you? Sorry I ran into your car.
I'm fine and my Tesla’s fine. You didn’t do any damage, answers Moshe.
What are you doing in this Tesla? Why don't you sell it and get a Lamborghini? You’ve got money.
Mosche: I would never sell it even for 5 million dollars!
What? Why?
I can't sell it because it has a genie! Do you want to see it? Watch this!
Moshe takes a rag and rubs the hood of the Tesla and immediately a genie appears!
Yes master, what can I do for you? asks the genie.
Genie, Moshe says, serve my friend David a dish of pasta.
The genie immediately serves up a plate of spaghetti bologna!
David is amazed! He thinks for a moment, and says to Moshe, “let me buy your Tesla”.
I just told you I can't sell it!
I'll give you 6 million dollars.
Impossible, answers Moshe.
So David starts raising his offer: 7, 8, 9, 10 million!
Well, ok for 10 million dollars, I’ll sell you my Tesla. But how do I get home now?
Here’s a check for 10 million dollars and take the Rolls with it!
Both of them leave. David arrives at his estate and his wife comes out immediately!
David, what are you doing in this car? Where is the Rolls?
Darling, this car is magic! Let me show you.
David takes a rag and rubs the hood of the Tesla and immediately the genie appears!
Yes master, what can I do for you?
Genie, says David, give my wife a 5 carat diamond ring!
But master, answers the genie, didn't Moshe tell you? ... I only make pasta!

[Studedude]

So, a midget with a speech impediment decided he wanted a horse.

He went to the horse farm and told the owner, “I want to buy a horth.”

The owner said, “What kind of horse?”

“I want a female horth” he said.

The owner walked in a good looking mare.

The fellow said, “Thaths a nith mare. I need to thee her teef.”

The owner picked him up, and showed him her teeth. Then, he asked to see her eyes and ears, and the owner held him up to see those.

“All thoth things look okay, can I thee her twot?”

The owner picked him up, raised the horse’s tail, and placed his face there for him to see.

After being put back down, the midget said, “Wet me wepwase that. May I just see her wun awound a wittle bit?”

[Gunslinger]

Someone has both a sense of humor and creativity...

[skyway]

Wow, I like it!

[Noxnabaker]

I think the rear looks french...

[6hk71400]

I think the rear looks french...

Nox,

Are you thinking of a Simca Verdette or something else?

Bob Miles
When I was taking French in High School there was a film with a shot of a S on the hubcap on a car so I thought it was Studebaker