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  • How to unsubscribe from anything

    I got a kick out of this, I hope it brings a laugh to everyone here (Blatantly stolen from a Volvo group)

    Here is how to unsubscribe:

    First, e-mail 1800-request and ask for an Unsubscribing Kit. Then follow
    these simple directions.

    The kit is the standard no-fault type. Depending on requirements, System
    A and/or System B can be used. When operating System A, depress lever
    and a plastic dalkron unsubscriber will be dispensed through the slot
    immediately underneath. When you have fastened the adhesive lip, attach
    connection marked by the large "X" outlet hose. Twist the silver-
    colored ring one inch below the connection point until you feel it lock.

    The kit is now ready for use. The unsubscriber is activated by the small
    switch on the lip. When securing, twist the ring back to its initial
    condition, so that the two orange lines meet. Disconnect. Place the
    dalkron unsubscriber in the vacuum receptacle to the rear. Activate by
    pressing the blue button.

    The controls for System B are located on the opposite side. The red
    release switch places the unsubscriber into position; it can be adjusted
    manually up or down by pressing the blue manual release button. The
    opening is self-adjusting. To secure after use, press the green button,
    which simultaneously activates the evaporator and returns the
    unsubscriber to its storage position.

    You may log off if the green exit light is on over the evaporator. If
    the red light is illuminated, one of the unsubscriber requirements has
    not been properly implemented. Press the "List Admin" call button on the
    right of the evaporator. I will secure all facilities from my control panel.

    To use the Auto-Unsub, first undress and place all your clothes in the
    clothes rack. Put on the Velcro slippers located in the cabinet
    immediately below. Enter the Con-tainer, taking the entire kit with you.
    On the control panel to your upper right upon entering you will see a
    "Con-tainer seal" button. Press to activate. A green light will then be
    illuminated immediately below. On the intensity knob, select the desired
    setting. Now depress the Auto-Unsub activation lever. Act normally.

    The Auto-Unsub will automatically go off after three minutes unless you
    activate the "Manual off" override switch by flipping it up. When you
    are ready to leave, press the blue "Con-tainer seal" release button. The
    door will open and you may leave. Please remove the Velcro slippers and
    place them in their receptacle.

    If you prefer the ultrasonic log-off mode, press the indicated blue
    button. When the twin panels open, pull forward by rings A & B. The knob
    to the left, just below the blue light, has three settings, low, medium
    or high. For normal use, the medium setting is suggested. After these
    settings have been made, you can activate the device by switching to the
    "ON" position the clearly marked red switch. If during the Unsubscribing
    operation, you wish to change the settings, place the "manual off"
    override switch in the "OFF" position. You may now make the change and
    repeat the cycle. When the green exit light goes on, you may log off and
    have lunch. Please close the door behind you. Don't forget to dress
    before leaving the room.

    Ron Dame
    '63 Champ

  • #2
    System B sounds like a frisking booth in a nuclear work area!

    Dwain G.