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Your Best Joke

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  • Benny Hill - Benny's Quickies (1976)

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      • True story:

        In the late 1980s and early 1990s, I set up numerous bus trips for a group of seniors living in the Moncton, New Brunswick area. On one of these trips, the seniors travelled by coach to Fredericton, then took a 150 km (93 mile) cruise on a tour boat on the beautiful Saint John River to Saint John. There the coach met us for the return trip to Moncton.

        On this trip, I overheard the following conversation between two seniors:
        Hilda: Ray, does your wife ever come on these tours?
        Ray: No.
        Hilda: Why not? they are so much fun.
        Ray: Hilda, do you go on picnics?
        Hilda: Yes.
        Ray: Do you take your own ants?
        Bill Jarvis

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        • Well... it kinda deep-ends...
          Click image for larger version  Name:	cat on car.jpg Views:	0 Size:	64.1 KB ID:	1848656
          Last edited by Noxnabaker; 07-30-2020, 10:33 AM.
          sigpic

          Josephine
          -55
          Champion V8
          4d sedan

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          • Originally posted by Noxnabaker View Post
            Well... it kinda deep-ends...
            Click image for larger version

Name:	cat on car.jpg
Views:	217
Size:	64.1 KB
ID:	1848656
            OH MY!...Nox...the title of this thread is "Best" joke...but, I suppose an occasional "sick" joke (especially for us car nuts) is forgivable
            John Clary
            Greer, SC

            SDC member since 1975

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            • Oh, I'm (almost ) sorry, I laughed quite a bit thou... BAD me!
              sigpic

              Josephine
              -55
              Champion V8
              4d sedan

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              • I worked for Cat for 10 years...........and I laughed !! In our Engine Division (in Green Bay) we sold "Dog Diesel Power" shirts as a joke....we got in trouble!!
                Sherm / Green Bay / 63R1089

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                • Firestoper 25, if a Caterpillar tractor were restyled a bit and painted in really beautiful colours, would it then be called a Butterfly?
                  Bill Jarvis

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                  • Originally posted by Greenstude View Post
                    ... if a Caterpillar tractor were restyled a bit and painted in really beautiful colours, would it then be called a Butterfly?
                    Only if it would go from crawling to flying!

                    John Clary
                    Greer, SC

                    SDC member since 1975

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                    • True story.......when our daughter was in pre- school the teachers could NOT convince her that caterpillars turned into butterfly's and flew!! She was not buying that B.S. She had been inside of "the big ones" at the dealership (D-10) and knew better!! Sherm / Green Bay / 63R1089

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                      • It seems this post is starting to suffer from continental drift.

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                        • A father walks into a restaurant with his young son.
                          He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.
                          Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face.
                          The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back.
                          The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels but keeps choking.
                          Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.
                          A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.
                          At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
                          Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist; gently at first and then ever so firmly.
                          After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
                          Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.
                          As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, 'I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?

                          'No,' the woman replied. 'Divorce attorney'

                          "All attempts to 'rise above the issue' are simply an excuse to avoid it profitably." --Dick Gregory

                          Brad Johnson, SDC since 1975, ASC since 1990
                          Pine Grove Mills, Pa.
                          sigpic'33 Rockne 10, '51 Commander Starlight, '53 Commander Starlight "Désirée"

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