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Your Best Joke

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  • How do you prevent a Summer cold? Catch it in the Winter!
    Of course with my luck unfortunately I caught it during summer while being on a holiday in this property in Athens. I am so lucky...


    • Remember the epileptic midget who went into the pizza business? He was going to call it "Little Seizures."


      • Poet...Mystic...Soldier of Fortune. As always...self-absorbed, adversarial, cocky and in general a malcontent.


        • sigpic
          Dave Lester


          • Poet...Mystic...Soldier of Fortune. As always...self-absorbed, adversarial, cocky and in general a malcontent.


            • - - - Updated - - -

              Poet...Mystic...Soldier of Fortune. As always...self-absorbed, adversarial, cocky and in general a malcontent.


              • Originally posted by Gunslinger View Post

                With Stude content!:
                Dave Lester




                  • A lady in The Villages, in Florida (a senior retirement community), sat down on a bench, near another bench where a gentleman was sitting.
                    She asked him if he was new to the community and he said, “No, I have owned a condo here for 20 years".
                    She said, "I have been here for 15 years and I have never seen you around!"
                    He said, "I have been in prison for the last 17 years!"
                    She was stunned, and finally asked him what he had done.
                    He said that he had murdered his first wife!
                    She was stunned again, and after a long pause she said: “So, you're SINGLE???”

                    Last edited by Buzzard; 09-10-2019, 05:48 PM. Reason: duplicate(again)


                    • Stolen shamelessly from elsewhere online...

                      Q: How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in an automotive forum?

                      1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

                      14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

                      7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

                      17 purists who use candles and are offended by light bulb discussions.

                      6 to argue over whether it's 'lightbulb' or 'light bulb'.

                      Another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid.

                      22 to tell THOSE 6 to stop being jerks.

                      2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is 'lamp'.

                      15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that 'light bulb' is perfectly correct.

                      49 to post memes and gifs (several are of someone eating popcorn with the words added, “I’m just here for the comments.”)

                      19 to post that this page is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a light bulb page.

                      11 to defend the posting to this page saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant here.

                      12 to post F.

                      8 to ask what F means.

                      7 to post 'Following' but there's 3 dots at the top right that means you don't have to.

                      3 to say "can't share"

                      2 to reply "can't share from a closed group"

                      36 People to post pics of their own light bulbs.

                      15 People to post "I can't see S$%^!" and use their own light bulbs.

                      6 to report the post or PM an admin because someone said "f÷×$"

                      4 to say "Didn't we go through this already a short time ago?".

                      13 to say "Do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".

                      1 to bring politics into the discussion by adding that (insert politician of choice) isn't the brightest bulb. This usually takes place within the first three comments.

                      50 more to get into personal attacks over their political views.

                      5 admins to ban the light bulb posters who took it all too seriously.

                      1 late arrival to comment on the original post 6 months later and start it all over again.

                      Clark in San Diego | '63 Standard (F2) "Barney" |


                      • Take a day off.
                        Don Wilson, Centralia, WA

                        40 Champion 4 door*
                        50 Champion 2 door*
                        53 Commander K Auto*
                        53 Commander K overdrive*
                        55 President Speedster
                        62 GT 4Speed*
                        63 Avanti R1*
                        64 Champ 1/2 ton

                        * Formerly owned


                        • Wish I could...

                          Clark in San Diego | '63 Standard (F2) "Barney" |


                          • Reminds me of an old TRW ad:



                            • If in Sweden then #2 & 3 would've been the other way around, there's many more safetyfanatics / safety fanatics / safety-fanatics / safetyfanatix here than those who would offer more options on how to do something...
                              (& x is an under-estimated letter!)

                              Champion V8
                              4d sedan


                              • Originally posted by showbizkid View Post
                                Wish I could...
                                Got to use my first like. Love the post although it's a bit close to home in a couple of cases.

                                , ,