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Thread: Get your Google Pizza

  1. #1
    President Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Rochester NY and Delray Beach FL, ---NY (Summer) FL.(Winter), USA.

    Get your Google Pizza

    The future is here; websites know more about you than your family.

    Subject: GOOGLE PIZZA

    CALLER: Is this Gordon's Pizza?

    GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.

    CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

    GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

    CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.

    GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?

    CALLER: My usual? You know me?

    GOOGLE: According to caller ID, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

    CALLER: OK! That ’ s what I want ...

    GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten free thin crust?

    CALLER: What? I detest vegetables.

    GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

    CALLER: How the hell do you know?

    GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

    CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

    GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

    CALLER: I bought more from another drugstore.

    GOOGLE: That doesn ’ t show on your credit card statement.

    CALLER: I paid in cash.

    GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

    CALLER: I have other sources of cash.

    GOOGLE: That doesn ’ t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.


    GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

    CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

    GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...
    Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain !


  2. #2
    President Member tsenecal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Elko NV
    That is pretty comical, and sadly, more true than we probably know about. Anybody that shops online has dealt with searching one thing, then dealing with pop up ads for anything related to the search. The internet is a great thing, but you definitely give up privacy.

  3. #3
    Silver Hawk Member 53k's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Martinsburg, West Virginia, USA.
    Quote Originally Posted by stall View Post
    The future is here; websites know more about you than your family....
    Way too true! Last year I bought a Sleep Numbers bed (big mistake). In complaining about it to the local store they looked me up on their computer and told me I had bought a Select Comfort mattress in 1995- true. The local Sleep Numbers store didn't even exist in 1995. I didn't bother to tell them that we didn't like the mattress and gave it away in a year or so. Guess I am a slow learner.

    Paul Johnson, Wild and Wonderful West Virginia.
    '64 Daytona Wagonaire, '64 Avanti R-1, Museum R-4 engine, '72 Gravely Model 430 with Onan engine

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